Do you ever look back and think, I miss you?
The person I used to be
The ghosts of people who once were
Alive but no longer
Alive but not living
Alive, but who are they now?
Who am I?
A shell of who I used to be
A walking, living, breathing ghost
I stopped drinking and I struggled with my feelings
Now I can only feel when I drink
All I want is to feel alive again
To feel anything but complete and utter exhaustion with existence
Anything but sadness that never goes away
Joy comes and goes, but the madness always stays
I stop and think of who I used to be, and I wonder
Is she still in there?
Will I ever see her again?
I miss what it was like to feel free
To feel like I knew who I was
To feel like I stood for something
To feel like life meant something more than just trying to survive
And I hope I’m still here
I hope I’ll find myself again
I hope to be more than a shell of who I used to be
Sometimes hope is all that’s left
Nicole's ramblings 